The movie's goal isn't to tell a story it's to squeeze out as many classic 80s rock tunes as possible. Sometimes a musical number will arise out of a brief conversation, but other times it will happen without even the slightest prompt. The film breezes through the non-musical scenes and plot development at an astounding pace.
Rock of Ages rests on the lazy assumption that it doesn't need to tell a compelling story because the movie is a musical and is therefore more about songs than narrative. The story is on the level of a Saved by the Bell episode where Group X needs to save Location Y by holding Show Z. Meanwhile, the true-love relationship between Sherrie and Drew hits the rocks due to a star-crossed misunderstanding, and only the power of rock can bring them back together. Dennis hopes the club's salvation will come from legendary rocker Stacee Jaxx ( Tom Cruise) despite the machinations of his sleazy manager Paul ( Paul Giamatti). The club, run by the grizzled Dennis Dupree ( Alec Baldwin) and his sidekick Lonny ( Russell Brand), is in danger of being closed down due to lack of funds along with being the target of a moral crusade from the Mayor's wife, Patricia ( Catherine Zeta-Jones). Instead, she finds a job as a waitress at the rock club The Bourbon Room a few hours after she gets off the bus thanks to the hunky bartender, Drew ( Diego Boneta). In the thinnest premise imaginable, dreamy-eyed Sherrie ( Julianne Hough) is headed to 1987 Hollywood with dreams of becoming a singer. Sadly, director Adam Shankman is hardly up for the task of finding a new spin on well-worn rock favorites, and he's only able to sporadically bring vibrancy to the film adaptation's almost non-stop barrage of numbers. It's a show that plays to nostalgia and provides the comfort of classic tunes so the audience is basically pre-sold: if you like the music, then why wouldn't you like this music delivery system upheld by the laziest story imaginable? If a musical must rely on other people's music rather than writing original songs, then the onus for originality falls on the direction.
The movie is based on a Broadway show designed with tourists in mind rather than people who actually appreciate stage musicals. Music is the heart of any musical, and Rock of Ages has a stolen heart.